Cutting Too Low

Insomnia is often a plague, but it can sometimes be instructive, if it doesn’t last too long. I had a case of it last night. I read an entire two hundred-page novel—reading usually does the trick, but not this time--then curled up to try to get some sleep. When it was obvious that my eyes simply would not shut, I turned on the TV and switched to FoxNews. Thankfully, there was no Jacko or Iowa Caucus coverage, however there was a re-run of Saturday’s offering of “[Steve] Forbes on Fox.”

Amazing are the things that one’s mind focuses on with lack of sleep. This show--about money, of course—was moderated by David Asman. (I always like to see him, mainly because he has this great aura: as if he’s discovered some wonderful, glad secret of the universe). Naturally Steve Forbes was there, some other nameless men and a woman named Elizabeth McDonald.

When my sleep-deprived mind was paying attention, the subject was President Bush’s proposed Moon/Mars missions and the possible consequences on the US economy. All perspectives were addressed with some passion on both sides. Those against the proposal raised some valid concerns—there are things here on Earth that require more immediate fiscal attention--though, in my opinion, their reasons often lacked vision. But that’s not what this post is about.

In a particularly heated point in the exchange, McDonald managed to silence her male colleagues by invoking that great silencer of American men everywhere (a paraphrase; pen and paper will be on my night table from now on): “You men have to let the woman speak now!”

Really? Why? Was her opinion more important, more valid just because she’s the owner of a vagina, a uterus, a set of ovaries and a set of breasts?

The frightening part is that the guys did shut up and let her speak.

Now, as many know from reading my musings, I spent two decades in the military and, were those that have known me to give a description of my personality, I’d imagine that the phrase “shrinking violet” would never come up. There have been times in which I’ve had to exert some assertiveness and aggressiveness to allow myself to be heard. Such is life for a woman who works among mostly men. However, what got me about McDonald’s tactic was that she felt that she deserved to be heard solely because she’s a woman, not because she had a unique perspective on the subject discussed.

She used her femininity to figuratively emasculate every man on that panel and those men, being well-indoctrinated into the feminist code, let her do it.

I heard nothing that McDonald said after that and I distinctly recall the words “STFU, B” coming out of my mouth.

We American women are very powerful, likely the most powerful women on Earth ever. We can be nearly anything we want, ability and desire existing. There is much of which we are in control, including how we relate to and with men. With that in mind, we have to ask ourselves many questions. The most important one we all need to ask ourselves is this: do we need to exert and/or increase our power at the expense of the power of the men in our lives?

I say no, mainly because the power which we women possess is different from that of men; the two should offset each other, rather than clash against each other.

However, watching McDonald wield her own power to beat men down, reminded me of how often the contemporary American woman does this.

I was embarrassed for the guys and lost at least a few more hours sleep being PO’d.

Comments

[Mr. Lion]

I like women who stand up for themselves, but those who weild the politically-correct and sexism mantles in order to propagate their opinions on unrelated issues tend to irk me.

STFU, B, indeed.

[Susan Kilmer]

My husband appreciates an independent woman...(he had the good sense to marry ME, after all)...but he always says there is a very fine line between a strong woman and a plain ole' B*tch.

[wes jackson]

Too much talk of fairness for women masks a power play for all the marbles.
There can be no real love and respect without balance. A woman using her "feminitity to figuratively emasculate every man" no longer has any femininity
BTW, that's two Grand Slams in less than a week!

[baldilocks]

:-) Thanks, Wes.

[Teresa]

Oh very well said!!!

[Myria]

Such demands for old-fashioned chivalry and manners (actually a perverted version thereof) are fascinating exactly because they generally work and because, while relatively common when convenient, we generally don't even notice them. Such chivalry and manners are to often neither acceptable nor wanted when not demanded, and thus serve as a nice double-edged social sword. Treat me like a lady when I do not wish it and you are obviously a sexist pig, do not treat me like a lady when I demand it and you are a lout or worse.

Equality is so very inconvenient, especially if it might mean not getting to use such powerful social tools at your disposal. The fact is, a fact we seem disturbingly unwilling to face, that few individuals and even fewer groups are truly interested in equality in any real sense. Equality is whatever advantages me and mine, or, as they might say in the barnyard, some animals are more equal than others so send me to the head of the verbal line because I'm a woman, dammit!

In theory competition between the various groups seeking their versions of 'equality' would force some balance, but in the current climate the other side is verbally and socially unilaterally disarmed in a war they are ill-equipped to fight to begin with. Men cannot be allowed to compete in this 'equality' war except as targets because by definition they are 'advantaged' - whatever exactly that might mean. Of course those men shut up, what else were their options? Whether one of them had said "STFU, B" or politely pointed out that such demands were inherently unladylike and undeserving of notice by a gentleman would have made no nevermind, in a no-win situation they did the only reasonable thing they could have without having to pay a price not worth it.

Sad, especially for those few of us left who prefer to truly be ladies or gentlemen and not just when convenient, but that is the state of things and will remain so until either some sort of balance is restored or the reflexive impulse in men to jump to old-fashioned chivalry and manners when called to is well and truly dead. I suspect the latter will come before the former.

Myria

[Dave]

I'm not sure what the best course is for those of us men who are committed to chivalry in particular and honor in general. Perhaps the best we can do is maintain and do our best to promote those women who understand; Heaven knows that should we attempt to take direct action, physical or verbal, against those who abuse our chivalry, we would lose all claim to it. Or feel that we had, which is effectively the same.

[baldilocks]

Excellent commentary, Myria. We all know what would have happened had McDonald been treated like the actual equal that she likely would claim to want. (I'm not saying that she should have been treated as rudely as my insomnia-induced exclamation might suggest, but had she been handled in a manner that was blunt enough for her to get the point, I'm betting she would have had a fit.)

Dave: There’s the problem for those men who still hold onto chivalry. For the man who wields it, the epithets “sexist,” “chauvinist” and the like are a hazard. For the man who doesn’t, “ rude bum,” or such will be a likely description for him. What’s a fella to do? Answer: do what he knows is right, confused women be damned.

Side note: whenever a man holds my door, I make it a point to smile at him and say “thank you.” It’s very obvious that this is a pleasant surprise for most of them.