Sticking Situations

I don’t know whether it’s the flu shot that I’ve been militarily compelled to take every year of my adult life or the West African-East African-Native American-European immune system that’s responsible, but I’ve rarely caught one of the variations of the flu.

This year, it keeps trying to catch me, but my system keeps fighting it off. I took my shot a couple of weeks ago, my first year of voluntary compliance. Unlike many, I have never caught the “flu” immediately after the arm stab. I only got sick in two (consecutive) years with the causes being very apparent.

Three years ago, when the vaccine was delayed until late in the flu season and I hadn’t received the shot yet, I got hit.

Then, two years ago, my sister and my then three-year-old niece came to visit from Albuquerque. My sister had entered her daughter—a future Miss America for sure—into a kiddie talent show held here, so I went with them to the proceedings. In this manner, I was exposed to hundreds of rug-rats—no doubt carrying all manner of contagion--and was, for only the second time in my life, abed for days. (Niece won in her category, however.)

Kids are dangerous.

*****

My last career in the Air Force was as an immunization technician. Here’s the rule: large male patients are the worst babies about getting stuck. Female patients, especially those who have given birth, roll up their sleeves and say, “hey, let’s get this over with so I can get back to work.” Here's the other rule: if you thought you were going to faint and you were over five feet two inches and weighed more than one hundred pounds, you’d better sit down because I like my spinal column better than I like you.

One guy always had to sit down and have someone—a woman, preferably—hold his hand whenever he got shot. He’d cover his eyes with the other hand. A light-skinned black man, he would turn fire-truck red as soon as the needle hit his arm. He was gorgeous, however, so I didn’t mind holding his hand. I would do my best not to laugh at the poor thing.

MORE: How do I handle receiving shots? Okay, as long as I don’t look at what they’re doing and as long as they’re quick about it. Get in and get the flock out.

It’s the drawing of blood that bothers me.

Being very dark of skin and small of blood vessel, I always request the most experienced lab technician. There have been a couple of amateurs that have had to dig around in the crook of my arm(s) for a vein. Once, I came away from the experience with tears coming from my eyes and an arm resembling that of a heroin addict. Needless to say, giving blood isn’t high on my list of helping the unfortunate. I’ll give money, thanks.

Comments

[irishlass]

My brother, back in the day 6'2", 225 pounds (now a little more) use to faint nearly every time he had a shot. Our family use to go to the state employees assn flu shot cattle call (a hundred or more people in lines to get a shot). One year he fainted right on the floor and they had to reroute the line 'cuz no one could pick him up.

And now -- he's the lab manager at Kaiser in charge of the phlebotomists and blood drawers.

[Key]

I thought that giving blood would be no prob. After all, I have big, beautiful veins.

The bag was filling quickly enough, in fact, it was about 2/3 full when I passed out.

I really thought that I was above that kind of behavior, but there was just no controlling it...I wiggled the feet, I drank the juice, I couldn't fight it.

How embarressing. I'm now afraid to give out of fear of a repeat performance.

[Arnold]

I've never understood the "fear of the needle" thing. I grew up with severe asthma and took weekly antigen shots starting at age 4. I also took epinephrine shots when I had a severe attack, so I guess I learned early on to associate "syringe" with "relief".

When I was young my mom gave me the shots (which she referred to as "skeeter bites"), but by the time I was in Jr. High I was giving the shots to myself.

[Ginny]

Yep, giving blood isn't exactly my favorite the to do. The last time I gave willingly of my juice was at the end of Basic Training (Army). I am a lot less squeamish about it all now since I've had a kid and since I've been in the military. They just can't get enough of sticking me, I guess.

[jason]

i'm like you, i keep givin it the slip, just barely. good luck!

[Marty]

Conversely, I believe I haven't come down with each year's flu because I have NOT received a flu shot in over a decade.

As for giving blood, I found out that I cannot give blood because I was stationed in England from 1982-1985, ate plenty of beef there, and might have, sometime down the road, "mad cow disease." I figure it's been almost 20 years, so I'm safe. And so is the nation's blood supply!

[John of Argghhh]

Well, this 5'11" 240lbs former football player, national chanpion wrestler and *officer* gave 5 gallons of blood before I got cut-off, and I get stuck alla time now because of my hypothyroidism.

But I know what you mean. I saw enough huge pansies faint to know that I was the exception!

[Sue Bob]

This had me chuckling tonight. Especially the one about the gorgeous guy who had to have his hand held while he covered his eyes with the other. Happy New Year Baldilocks!! And, thanks for the pleasures you given me this year with your absolutely delightful blog.

[Indigo]

Your bad experiences with inept techs drawing blood is unacceptable. My daughter (the RN) is called away from her station to "rescue" other nurses who "say" they can't find a vein. She says she doesn't have a prob because she locates the vein before she sticks! So simple, huh? Don't put up with that in civilian life, ok? Just ask for another tech. Oh == and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

[david]

Juliette, some of my best friends are shot-techs...I salute your service as one of them! And I'm cool with getting shots -- like Arnold (above), I had asthmas as a child, so shots were routine.

But I know - KNOW - that if I tried to donate blood, I'd pass out. Even having a routine blood-draw at the lab makes me a bit faint. Heh.